Wild Fiction

‘Emergency supply, for times like this.’
Gunther forced a smile at her and put it in his mouth. Rebecca watched his Adam’s Apple move up and down as he swallowed it.
Gunther’s flat was a mess. The large ashtray on his coffee table overflowed with cigarette butts. Dark circles from mugs of tea and coffee stained the surface of the coffee table. Several mugs lay scattered around the table; two of them had broken handles. The dregs of coffee and cigarette butts festered in the bottom of some of them. Turned over in the corner was a rubbish bin, its contents fanned out across the floor. One of the curtain rails had come loose and was dangling precariously against the wall and window. It looked like somebody had taken Tipex® and tried to accentuate the eyes of the fish on the curtain. Somebody had drawn a rather burly beard on the signed picture of Boy George and had then turned it upside down before replacing it on the side board.
‘Nice,’ Rebecca said not quite sure if she should be saying anything.
‘Thank you,’ Gunther replied. ‘I try to keep the place looking like a party’s just happened here. This is all the rage with the people I hang out with. Sometimes I just have to run outside to prevent myself from tidying it up. I am getting used to it. The ashtray smells a bit though. I’ve seen that they have plastic ones that look just like those in Boys are Boys. You know, with all the fag ends sticking out but not real, so it doesn’t smell.’
Rebecca nodded at him. She was not sure if she should take this seriously or not. She had never heard of anything like this before.
‘And that curtain rail isn’t broken. It’s attached at an angle like that to make it look as if it’s come off the top part.’ Gunther was auto-jabbering and continued to point out how much trouble he had gone to, to make the flat look as bad as it did. Rebecca put her hand in front of her mouth to conceal her smile.